To Be Yourself

Kaan Can Calkan
4 min readJan 7, 2022

With the last post, I continue to make very marginal progress. How are you, are you enjoying it? The crypto exchange is very Speculative, be careful, my friends. Now what I want to talk about today is that people always want to be someone else.

I certainly do not criticize people’s goals and the fact that these goals have an idol. For example, when I’m training in basketball, I always shoot my shots from the middle distance with the Kobe Bryant fade away. When I was writing code, I always used snippets of the person I learned to code. It’s okay to idolize someone when it comes to methods. Because we have great respect for the work of that person and we know that it will be very good if the work we do is similar to his.

But this idolization thing goes to the point of imitating that person after a certain time. In today’s social media, people have emerged who idolize someone and copy that person’s life view, hairstyle, and speaking style. This now prophesies that person and causes him to be in a superior and achievable status and to feel like we will always be left behind if we become ourselves.

Lately, I’ve been hanging out with a lot of 17–18-year-old boys, I’m a big brother to them. “You are very good in business, you are very stable in sports, you have a very good general culture, how can I be like you? “I hear the phrases very often. In this good time again, they fall under the delusion that their own life is so disgusting and my life is perfect.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. For example, while it is easier for me to write code than anyone else, it is much more difficult to enter a social environment. First, we need to realize this. We need to get to know ourselves and draw our character map. I don’t think being like me makes anyone happy but me. Because I am me and I can only adapt to this body and this personality one hundred percent.

You can pick up parts of my life where I’ve been successful. Yes, I am very good with computers. Yes, I can understand if there is a software issue. If you envy this feature of me, go and work for it, my friend. But know this, I’ve been here since I was 7 years old, messing around with the pc. I was changing Fifa 05’s config files and patching myself. In short, what you envy requires a long effort and dedication.

Everyone loves my English, right? I’ve been speaking English for 16 years. If you, as a beginner, want to speak English like me, I’m sorry, my friend, you won’t be able to do it in the short term. Because I didn’t succeed in the short term either.

And the most important thing is this. Every field in which I developed myself was something I enjoyed. I enjoyed it and kept improving. Maybe you will enjoy other things rather than these. Dude, why do you want to see me and envy me and be me? See me, envy me, and this man is doing the things he loves and enjoys in his own life, and I will do the things I enjoy. Because it’s not me, we may have common points, but you didn’t experience my experiences, just as I didn’t experience yours.

That’s why it’s better to set different people as role models in areas where they are successful, rather than one person as a role model in life. I have different role models in software, basketball, weight lifting, mentality. I am trying to reach the level of those people on those issues, with slow and determined steps. But there is a fine line between taking a role model and imitating it. I don’t just adapt what I have to do on my own terms and do the same things as my one-on-one role models.

Young people, if you are going to take me as a role model, I think you should take my success in being myself as an example before my work, my English, my stability in sports. I am happier and more at peace than I have ever been in my life. Because I’m living the life I want to live. I’m sacrificing something for the life I want to live. (for example, alcohol, cigarettes)

In today’s society, everyone is extremely similar to each other. People are stupidly monotonous. Let’s not be one of these people, let’s be people who are unique, who have the truth of their own opinions, who are the people they take as a role model, but who do not idolize this. Let’s do the things we love, let’s improve in them, let’s live our lives happily. Because when you take public transport, you see what a mediocre and disgusting life most of them have.

Remember that self-actualization is at the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Try to progress in the job you love, try to enter social environments that suit you. Make peace with yourself and exalt yourself. See you in new articles.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

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Kaan Can Calkan

Former Web Developer , SAP HCM and Oracle Technical Consultant . Currently working as a SAP HCM Full Stack Dev .Sharing my learning path with you.